Suddenly my so-called Life was over…

It was one of the warmest days yet this year so far. I was sitting in a meeting, wrapping up what was suppose to be my “deal-breaker”, turning everything in my life around. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket…I looked at the screen quickly. It was my wife. She never phones me, unless it is really urgent. Everyone that knows me, knows that I don’t easily answer a phone in a meeting, unless its my wife. Then I answer!

“Hi Babes” I answered. “whats up?”. I could hear her cry on the other side! I really don’t like it when my wife cries. It breaks my spirit and my whole being in two parts. “you need to get hear now!”, she cried. “but I need you to NOT get aggressive when you get hear. But hurry!”…

Her words silenced the world around me. I walked out the meeting without saying much. Only a “sorry, I need to leave immediately”.

What the hell was going on? My heart was pounding in my throat. It felt like it was about to explode in my head! I was about 15min drive from home, which felt like 5 minutes…under water…! Deep dark Water! I had no words when I arrived. I had no energy in my body to do anything! It was gone! All gone! We had nothing left and nowhere to go…

It is today exactly 60 days after the incident, we have survived what was one of our biggest set backs as a family, ever! We lost everything we owned that day! But, yet it feels like we were saved, more than we were punished. I know it doesn’t make sense, but in my heart it does. That’s probably all that makes sense…

Through it all, I have learned a great deal about myself, my kids, and my darling wife. I have learned that it doesn’t matter what the deal is, when there is love in a family, you can overcome anything. I do how-ever NOT say that it is easy. NO SIR! It is Hard. Believe me. But everything has brought us closer to each other….Or has it really?

Suddenly I am not sure about anything anymore. I feel empty, heartbroken, angry… My biggest question was:” Why us God?” “why did You have to put this massive mountain in my road? How am I suppose to get over this one? I don’t even know where to go from here. My wife is in shock, the kids literally lost everything they know their entire life, in one day! 24 Hours! Gone! POOF!!

In the last 60 days, I have learned to listen to the universe with a different ear…A different frequency. You need to really tune into a very High frequency to hear the universe speak. And believe you me, HE does speak to you. But most of the times we can not hear Him. Only because our lives are too full. Too full of nothingness. Stuff that doesn’t make sense to keep around in your life. Stuff that keeps you from reaching your full potential. Your Purpose.. Your destiny.

The universe doesn’t use words of wisdom to encourage us…or even to comfort us. It uses LOVE, PATIENTS AND A HARD LOOK INTO YOUR SOUL…

“There is a voice, that does not use words. Listen.” ~ Rumi

 

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#StickItOut ~ Branch

So today is 6 March 2018. I have finally managed to stick to my New Year’s resolutions….of quite smoking. Yes, today is my third day without a ciggy! Congratulations to me! Hahaha. The smokers out there would understand what I’m talking about when I say it is tuff! It’s hard! But yet also do-able.

In the perfect world, I think we would just easily say “no thanks” for the first cigarette, but yeah, we don’t live in a perfect world do we? We all have noticed by now that life is a bitch and will stab you in any way possible. Well, a cigarette helped me cope with that thought. That was my escape from killing the world…Now it is also gone….Now I have no choice but to face the world head on. But its fine, I know I can do it! Why? Because I am not the same person I was 3 days ago…3 years ago….3 minutes ago…

I am fighting a gruesome fight inside of me…I am NOT a quitter, Never was…never will be! That’s probably the fact that makes it the more difficult to leave the smoking. So, I decided to change my mindset around it. I am not Quitting, I am merely “dis-positioning myself from my packet of cigarettes” forever.

Now, that, my dear friends….is what I call “mind-over-matter-control”

I have come to realize a few things about myself the last few months:

1. I often venture outside all to find the answer, only to come back and see that it has been in front of me the entire time.

2. I don’t blame myself anymore for NOT seeing the answers in front om me. I wasn’t ready at that time to see the answers.

3. My journey has changed me.

4. I must venture

I will keep you updated on my journey regarding the smoking thing.

All I have to say at this point, DON’T GIVE UP! #StickItOut

✌✌

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man” ~ Heraclitus

#StickItOut #lifelesson #roadofsteel #figuringItoutAsIgoAlong